Family

This is a very personal poem, something I wrote when I was bursting with tears. I fear that the emotion I felt at the time cannot be aptly portrayed through my words, but I hope I can share a tiny sliver.

You say we are not family

But do you mean it?

Can you spend a day not worrying

If your children are safe?

The home we made

Seems like a prison to you

But it is my solace

The place where I find family

But you say we are not your family

Who am I to you, Mamma?

Am I simply some child?

Am I a burden in your arms?

Are you forced to love me

Because we are bound by blood?

I love you despite your words

I beg you, I kneel, I cry

For you to feel in your heart

My ever flowing love

But I am not your family

Then how can you feel the peace 

That i feel when I come home

To have three people I can readily

Give my life for

That I can always lean on

That are a part of my being

Yet, you know not this family

And without you

We are simply people

Waiting for the missing beat

That you took away

Each in our own way 

Love you unconditionally

Can you not love us? 

There's Something About You

This isn't serious poetry; i was just having some fun :)

Something about you makes me smile
Just thinking of our times together
And when I start, I can't seem to stop
Proof of how much we love each other

Something about you melts my heart
I feel a longing to cuddle in your hug
I want to hold your face in my hands
Sit on a couch with you and a coffee mug

Something about you tickles my ribs
I roll around in a giggly fit
You cheered me up with all that humour
My dark days with laughter you lit

Something about you tears me up
Because our time is running out
Is it my fear that forever can never happen?
Yet in the depth of our love, I know no doubt

Something about you turns me on
Well, everything about you does
From your voice to your wrists to your yummy kiss
Just a bed, some chocolate and us!

Sweet Surrender...again

I began a chapter of my life with Sweet Surrender, and now I close it.

What's this thing I've never felt
I find so hard to define?
With these feelings I've never dealt
Come near me, I'll be fine

For so long life revolved
Now you, the center shifts
And all at once, life dissolves
The wings of love now lift

I walk myself down that wondrous road
Every footstep a precious memory
Every bloom a kiss, on the path we strode
Now simply a silent reverie

Those gentle words you whispered
Still float in the tunnels of my mind
And I, breathless enraptured
Know that you, darling, are one of a kind

Like midnight without a star
Like a rose without its hue
Like day break without a sunrise afar
Life loses its magic without you

Time passes like the blink of an eye
Where the years went, I sigh in wonder
But love, you taught me how to fly
I'm glad to you, I surrendered

Time of My LIfe

I keep writing about all we did
Held hands, spoke with our eyes
And I forget to write down
How you make me feel
Or rather, avoid the act
For my mind would search so deep
To find apt words
These mortal feelings cannot be described
By a million immortal words
So ephemeral
Drifting between the shadows
Of reality and magic
Feelings of unencompassible love
Of sudden bursts of fury
That die with a thought of you
Of stretched hours of loneliness
Surrounded by people
Yet in my own dark corner
Of searing fits of pain
The separation, the distance, the silence
Rings like an ominous bell

Letting Go

Face to face, eye to eye
You're all I ever wanted
I turn away with a sigh
I'm forced to let you go

Hand in hand, it's still a lie
I want an impossible future
I smile, inside I cry
For everything I'm losing

Illusions everywhere around
Who knows right from wrong?
We speak without a sound
Everything and nothing makes sense

We are simply two freinds
We try to convince ourselves
But in this profound silence
Our Love betrays us

Shower Tears

When you leave, I climb into the shower
Sorrow, pain like skyscrapers tower
I sing to clear my rain clouded mind
In this cubicle I stand confined
And the tears rain invisible
My knees bend, unstable
I fall, all my pride disappears
And in its place fills cold fear
The water rinses my face
My tears don't leave a trace
But it cannot rinse my soul
Of all the hurt it holds

Cancer

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A wife, one day she awoke
To see her husband sleeping
She kissed him good morning
Seeing not the terror creeping

The mother sat with her family
Her children babbling away
She smiled unnasuming
That hell would break loose today

She felt some fatigue, but let it pass
"It's nothing to worry about"
Till all day did her body ache
And she felt a twinge of doubt

She waited in the asylum-white room
The odour of medicine in the air
With a number for a name, she walked
Head on into the nightmare

In a daze like a wooden puppet
She let them probe and prick
The man in white, he shook his head
"Ma'am I think you're very sick"

She did not understand him
"How sick am I?" asked she
He scribbled in a pad and said
"I'll send you to Oncology"

Easy Trust

Why stranger do you listen
To my angst and sorrow
How does your act
Sponge away my pain

You find my fingers
Your heart beats
With my ever aching heart
You taste my tears

Stranger, I do not know
Where you head
Yet, I lay bare all
The shadows of my past

You speak not in reply
But the fever ebbs away
Like a line of mercury
In a thermometer

These moments you hear
My quivering voice, I try
To hide myself and my tears
But you set them free

Stay stranger, I shall unveil
Your mysteries
Let us ease our loneliness
Let me discover your shadows

Love

The moonlight's glitter on the ocean
Couldn't be as beautiful as love

A flower in springtime bloom
Couldn't be as joyful as love

A snowflake on a tree branch
Couldn't be as delicate as love

The fiery hot glare of the sun
Couldn't be as passionate as love

A star studded midnight
Couldn't be as magical as love

A footprint upon a golden coast
Couldn't be as ephemeral as love

The blood flowing through every vein
Couldn't be as life-giving as love

The forest sawed down that regenerates
Couldn't be as forgiving as love

A shower of rain in the desert
Couldn't be as soothing as love

A fantastic insect with glittering wings
Couldn't be as alluring as love

The wind that carries a kite
Couldn't be as uplifting as love

And yet, a plague across the nations
Couldn't be as devastating as love

I Will Miss...

Your gorgeous eyes so brown
Your comfort when I'm feeling down
Your touch that turns me on
That caresses long after you're gone
Your kiss that tastes so sweet
The drum of your heart beat
Your body's perfect contours
Your shoulders and their curvature
Your laugh that bursts from inside
The thought of being your future bride
The stolen kisses in the guitar room
The more-than-just-kisses in your bedroom
Your jokes that tickle my bones
Your voice whispering in gentle tones
Your hands as soft as butter
The words of love you utter
Your cute, mixed up accent
The fifteen minute breaks we spent
How you always lend a listening ear
As my words pour out, so do my fears
The random songs you sing
The infinite joy you bring
How you love the things I write
How your hug makes things alright
The ink marks on your fingers
The scent of you that lingers
Your body so perfectly made
Your faith in God that never fades
Your compliments I always refuse
The things you own in orange hues

The list goes on and shall never end
For try as I might I can't pretend
My insides clench, my knees grow weak
My throat is dry, I cannot speak
I want to cry, "baby please stay"
But I know you have to go away
So every night in my mind's abyss
I find something new that I will miss

Today

Today I thought you wouldn't show
But you came an hour late
I thought I would only get to say hello
But we began to communicate
I thought I could keep my hands controlled
But they reached for yours eagerly
I thought i couldn't get close today
But you came closer to me
I thought you wouldn't see me dance
But you caught me moving my hips
I thought I could stop wanting you
But inches apart were our lips
Today my hands and feet were hurting
But your touch went over the bruise
I felt so tried I could have dropped
But your voice through the room diffused
Today, I thought would be so terrible
But your fingers ran down my arm
I thought today would be like any other
But your presence itself is a charm

Awake I Lie In Solitude

Some days I hate myself
Catalogued feelings on the shelf
Come toppling down in torrents
When awake I lie in solitude

Thinking of the minutes wasted
Beauty so oft never tasted
I shudder in resentment
When awake I lie in solitude

An overhead plain of white ceiling plaster
Into which sinks the day's disaster
A multitude of careless mistakes
When awake i lie in solitude

Gradually dim the negativities
Like the city lights, I find clarity
Sleep she crawls like a snake
And my lids close in solitude

Time

Time, the sly one
The black panther crouching
Inconspicuous in life's foliage
Seeming to be in tireless run

We, the antelope, earth brown
Unsuspecting of his presence
Of his incomprehensible power
His senses tack us down

Slinking between the shadows
Of doubt, carnivorously
Waiting to corner the pestilent
That they are, the weak never know

It occurs to us time would speed
But like a whisper he slithers
His yellow cat eyes aflash
The signs we fail to read

Then he leaps, a racing blur
Streak of black the panther becomes
Hooves clop frantically for escape
Run, but he shall not deter

Time, you must never underestimate
And our limbs flimsy as reeds
Succumb to his ever hunting claws
A reminder 'fore he seals our fate

Classroom

And rings the bell again
Like trained animals
We crowd into the class
Reluctantly the seconds pass
After the teacher-student chasmal
Out come notebooks and pens

Echoing voices lull me to sleep
With open eyes and I wonder
The stories the blackboard could hold
Too insignificant to be told
Swipe the white asunder
Erased lessons in a chalky heap

A Poem That Isnt Poetic

I was trying to write you a poem
But how can i confine to meter, rhyme
These feelings that flow so furiously
They coagulate, I choke
And not one thing comes out

Because every time you are near
I still get the shivers
I still want to get closer
And the times we're apart
I ache to see you again
I dream of your liquid eyes

If i could write you a song, I would
But I'm no musician
I can't find the words
If i could stay in your arms longer, I would
But time slips away
Things get in the way

And like clay without moisture
Or brooks without laughter
Like morning grass without dew
I would be incomplete without you

You make me laugh
In that wonderful way you do
It feels so light, so good
To know i can always laugh with you

And your every touch, every whisper, every kiss
Every move has me transfixed
Has me begging for more
Like the way you say so softly, "i love you"
Like the words would shatter if they
Weren't uttered so
As if you mean it in the most gentle way
I know you mean it

Even if tomorrow we part
To have loved you
So understanding, funny, weird,
So forgetful, sensitive, open, kind,
So full of unconditional love
And to know you have loved me
That i am worthy of this
It is enough happiness
To last me a lifetime

The way you have moved me
How you showed what it felt like
To be truly loved
How you held me so close to you
I could feel your heart beat
I knew at that moment
How perfectly we fit together

I could never hope to find
A person like you
And we are so lucky
To have found each other

I love you...

If No One Were Looking

If no one were looking

We can stop pretending

Our actions real and true

Feelings in plain hue

No more meek hiding

If no one were looking

If no one were listening

Secrets no longer silent

Out loud would speak minds

No thought straying behind

Every signal openly sent

If no one were listening

If no one were judging

Our choices solely our own

No expectations to meet

No victory or low defeat
Or disapproving undertones
If no one were judging

Eyes of Silence

Sounds buzz like flitting bees
The loundness
Into the atmosphere sinks

Indifferently people talk, walk by
Uncaringly
Insensitivity surrounding them

Your eyes in all their gentleness
Sparkling peace
Calm my chaotic insides

They of quiet assurance
Unravel
Confusion's tangled nets

When mine burn furious red
Your eyes
Love-filled cool the heat

Smoothing my sharpest corners
Thank you
You make all the difference

La Langue De L'Amour

Dans la langue de l’amour
Je t’écris une poème
Parceque je t’adore
Et tu m’aime le même

Les chansons qui tu chante
Les mots qui tu parle, doux
Tu m’enchante
Chaque jour, plus en plus

Je ne suis pas une femme de lettres
Mais mon amour, ecoute-moi
La place je veux être
Est seul avec toi

TRANSLATION

In the language of love
I write you a poem
Because i adore you
And you love me the same

The songs that you sing
The words that you speak, sweet
You enchant me
Every day, more and more

I am not a woman of letters
But my love, listen to me
The place i want to be
Is only with you

Square One

Back to square one
Through stormy seas
To well deserved peace
Another first kiss

Back to square one
Comfortable space
Your fingers trace
Me in familiar bliss

Back to square one
Knowing secrets
Promising to keep it
So easy now to trust

Back to square one
Forgetting past fears
Embracing now and here
Inhibitions turn to dust

Holding hands and pacing
Finishing where we had begun
Don’t know what we’re chasing
You and I, back to square one

Strangers

Why do you hope for love
Like a wing clipped dove
Under a sheet of frost
Hopes for some warmth lost ?
Love to me is a stranger
The liar, the ever-changer

In an opaque bubble
Blind to the inevitable
Existing in dark hollow
Reality too hard to swallow
Truth to me is a stranger
My fantasies it wants to injure

Alone is a beautiful place
To be me without a shadowed face
Solitude, so safe and secure
No company to smilingly endure
People to me are strangers
I have but myself to endanger

And now by a reality struck
I am the rotten apple to be plucked
That it is sparkling crystal clear
'Tis I, the real imposter here
This poet herself is the stranger
And there is nothing to do to change her.