CHOCOLATE SAUCE AND ICE CREAM

I wrote this one for one of my best freinds, on his birthday. We had been fighting alot and i wanted to be nice! I called it chocolate sauce and ice cream becuase we're always using analogies and this one i liked alot.

No, I will not start a fight
I will not say I was right
And before it’s too late
I want to ask you out on a date

Let’s sit down, me and you
Let’s yell and laugh and be blue
For no matter how odd we seem
We’re like chocolate sauce and ice cream

Through irking irritations
Or curses and damnations
Through trials and tribulations
Or hyperactive elations

Through fluctuating joy and rage
As if all the world’s our stage
Through crazy psychotic dreams
We’re like chocolate sauce and ice cream

Where would I find another Jes,
Who flips my life into a mess?
Only to smile like a little kid
And I forget everything he did

The one who understands my secret codes
Who cracks me up when I’m bored
Who gets me angry and steamed
We’re still chocolate sauce and ice cream

So before I forget, hear what I say
Like it or not, I’m here to stay
And darling I must confess
I’m not in love, but it’s love nonetheless

And know that I’ll always be a pain
A creature driving you insane
But we’re such a wonderful, evil team
Just like chocolate sauce and ice cream!

Sharing Blood

To my favourite tune I sing along

Is he psychic?

He walks in humming the exact song

That's how I know

Me and my bro

Share blood

I fight with the little tyke

For the T.V. remote

Whoa! It's the same channel we like

Did you know

Me and my bro

Share blood.

All set for the jamming party

But to get embarrassed

I notice our identical jeans and tees

It goes to show

Me and my bro

Share blood

Dreaded day at the clinic

What are the results?

O+ve after the needle prick

Now everyone knows

Me and my bro

Share blood

Bathroom Star

Towel cosy against my skin
Needing to unwind from within
To soak away all my woes
As rivulets over my body flows.

Cooling, calming, clarifying,
Falling, flowing, filling;
Healing with incessant slivers
My daily ritual in the shower:

A song sprouts from my lips
Feet moving to the rhythmic drips
The wet, white marble becomes
My audience as to my tune, I hum

The concert is on, I'm in the groove
People singing as I bust my moves
Without a care, I'm on a high
Shampoo suds like confetti fly

When my hips move in jiving motions

The fanatic crowd of my imagination

Cheers on as I lose my mind

Within the bathroom, behind closed blinds.

Jamming on a fake electric guitar

A pretentious girl for a rock star

Tonight there's no stopping this diva

As mercilessly, she sings in the shower!

Unknowing of my nakedness
Down the drain goes mounted stress
And just as my fans roar, "Encore!"
I slip on the soap, and fall to the floor!

The Trials of School

First period English class
Start reading Shakespeare
Thou art, thee, someone save me!

Prayer not to trip and fall
Sweaty, dirty sports
I kick football over wall.

Math: too many numerals
And calculations
Answer right; oops! Question wrong.

Trying hard to learn Français
Not understanding
Espanol written on board

Physics, Chemistry, Bio
An experiment
Specimen drowns in acid

Boring history of world
People dead and gone
Who cares about yesterday?

Paints, brushes, crayons, paper
After the art class
Best grade for my doodle: F

Bell rings, finally school’s over

Running home to chill

Newest disaster, “Do chores!”

A Day in the Life of Ann Tipsy

Call me Ann Tipsy
I’m a bit of a clumsy
Most of my life I spend
Trying hard to fix and mend
All the things I’ve tripped over;
Pick up banana peels I’ve slipped over.

I think it’s mostly because
I live life without a pause
Maybe I’m in too much of a hurry
That I leave everything around me in a flurry

I try to fill my pen
I spill the ink and then
Grape juice falls on my skirt
I have three missing buttons on my shirt
I trip over the garden hose
Can’t find my basketball clothes
Forget to brush my tangled hair
Lost my sneakers’ other pair
Raise my hand for all the wrong questions
Forgot my homework for all my lessons
Accidentally walk into the boys’ lockers
Take my stitching kit to soccer
Messed up the party at my own house
All because I invited circus clowns
Wore a yellow shirt on purple day
Didn’t notice my tulips decayed
Told my friends my cat was dead
In truth I had an iguana for a pet
Used face wash to clean my bike
My boyfriend told me to take a hike.

You must be thinking, “What a twit!”
I wish I was careful, just a little bit
But what can I do, this is just me
I’m the one and only Ann Tipsy
I just pray I don’t falter
And leave my groom at the altar.

Antarctica and Mr. Elf

Icy winds blew at my face,
All I saw was snow
Not a breathing creature in trace
I had no clue where to go.

Then, I stumbled upon a little man:
An elf from the North Pole.
He was sick and tired of getting
Bullied by “The Troll”.
Said he was on a break from
Taking orders from Mr. Claus
So he came down to Antarctica
To get back at his boss!

I stayed on for a week or two
Hoping I’d survive
In the cold, it’s not easy to live
So I prayed I’d stay alive.

The weirdest things happen there
Stranger than you think;
Imagine shoveling through the snow
In underwear of mink!

Candle wax is a necessity;
Here electricity’s unknown.
Walrus fat is fuel
And fire is lit on bones.

Penguin skin accessories
Are hot in the fashion world
The cool penguins are sweatin’ it out
Thanks to all those ‘trendy’ girls.

Now going to school is the biggest pain
Not because of studies,
If u get lost the polar bears
Will eat you and your buddies.

Well, I survived the freezing cold
Made the best of what I had
Yes, it sounds more than extreme
At least I didn’t go mad
So, I bid goodbye to Antarctica
The ice, walruses and Mr. Elf
To experience its true wonders
You’d have to go there for yourself
(Don’t forget to visit Mr. Elf!)

Big Fat Snail (inspired by Roald Dahl)

One day in a store right down the street,
(James had earned some money and was getting a treat)
He splurged on chocs, candy and the works
(Including M&Ms, Mars and Perk)
He strolled to a spot, sat down and hail,
His rump was impaled on a Big Fat Snail!
“By gum,” Jim said, “holy cow!”
“How did that get there, how?”
At first it looked like a poor little thing,
But on closer observation, it had the evilest grin.
Jim started sweating, he was utterly scared
Its eyes were bulging, its teeth were bared.
(Here comes the part where he was a real twit.
When I tell his friends, he'll be the class git!)
Jimmy threw it some of his sour candy pops
And soon realized that it like strawberry chocs.
(Duh, snails are allergic to sour candy pops;
They react much better to strawberry chocs)
The snail started bubbling and melted to the ground
The acid reached him and at his feet he found
That he had started to melt and bubble down
And both James and the snail oozed to the ground!

Ten Wacky Scientists

Ten wacky scientists tested some wine
One got drunk crazy
And then there were nine

Nine wacky scientists had a debate
One got tongue tied
And then there were eight

Eight wacky scientists dissected a raven
One chopped his finger off
And then there were seven

Seven wacky scientists invented special bricks
One broke his brainy head
And then there were six

Six wacky scientists explored a bee hive
One got horribly stung
And then there were five

Five wacky scientists scrutinized the floor
One slipped on a banana peel
And then there were four

Four wacky scientists were promoting planting trees
One got punched by a lumberjack
And then there were three

Three wacky scientists concocted dog food
One digested it
And then there were two

Two wacky scientists blasted off to the sun
One got roasted
And then there was one

One wacky scientist assembled a gun
He shot himself
And then there were none