Tuesday, November 03, 2009

The Day You Left

A hot, blistering day begins
With a flustered morning
Waiting for you, pining, aching
Your call, a whiff of your voice
And I race to the door

And wait and wait and wait
Until your curly hair enters
My field of vision. Escalator
Ascending. Blue shirt. Shoulders.
You walk the wrong way
And I run, run, run...
Embrace. Relief. Peace.
I cling onto you for life
With time ticking frantically
Every minute bursts
With the pang of your departure
Every time you look at me
Mixed with the happiness you bring
Come waves and waves of sadness

And we walk. Hot, sweaty, hand in hand
The sun can't burn away
The hurt I feel looking at you
My stomach churns with dread
For when you'll say goodbye
My blue-shirt-curly-haired handsome

You stand by the gate with me
Wanting to stay and needing to leave
I curse the forces that pull you from me
I hold back the rain
Choking my eyes, burning
And try to smile. Try to let you go.
I can't. A hug. Another. Another.
Can't erase the heaviness I feel

So, as always, I run from my sadness
I walk away from you, faster
Hoping you don't see me and cry
Sitting in a bus stop
Head in my hands, trying
To numb out the hurt
You see me. You mouth something
I don't understand

I am drawn to you
Like a magnet
I follow the blue shirt in the rickshaw
I follow you like a lost puppy
I run, run, run...
Hoping, irrationally, that you will stop
And come back to me
Instead you accelerate
Around a bend, I lose sight
Of the blue shirt. I'm blind
With hot, lava-like tears
Sweating panting running
Trying to catch a glimpse
A flash, a touch of blue
In the crowded street ahead
Nothing but my ragged breath
Alien unattractive strangers
And thoughts of kisses, laughs, tentative smiles
Of a tiny silver ring on a big finger
Of your quick entry into my world
And your even swifter departure

The tears rain on ceaselessly
I walk and walk and walk and walk
To nowhere; lost without you
No polestars, no blue shirts
For direction

I still cannot fathom the pain
This goodbye brings


As strongly as the heart yearns
For home, good company, familiarity
So the heart embraces the new
And welcome winds of change

As I ache for the cool touch
Of my mother's weathered fingers
Her clatter in the kitchen
Her halo of protection and comfort
So I stand wide-eyed, excited
For me new-found freedom
Bearing new responsibilities
With a smile and strong stance

As furiously as I cling to
The part of me i left behind
So I let this new person
Find her soul

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Missing Ma

You burst with beautiful energy

You laugh and you become a child

I ache for that laugh, its warmth

It reminds me how similar we are

Your fingers worn soft

Telling your motherly tales

You read me, meticulously

Every smile, every movement

To you I am transparent

My lies fall to pieces before you

My tears, hidden within bathroom walls

Some you caused, and some others

From when I was a seed inside you

You could feel my heart beat

Even today, you sense every single

One of my sorrows

I get so angry at you sometimes

And you at me, we fight

But when I lie down to sleep

All I can think of is that I let you down

Tonight, in this cold hostel room

I miss you, your touch, your hug

Your words that curl around me

Like a well-worn sweater

I regret sleeping late into the morning

Instead of being around you

I take you for granted

And now I hate myself for it

I would have said all this to you

Cuddled up next to you

Over and over how much I love you

But we never do that. We argue. We hug.

I am falling to pieces without you here

Tonight I just want your presence

I look at your photograph

It isn’t enough. I miss you.

Monday, May 04, 2009

He's just not you

He's so gorgeous
His lines outrageous
He makes the first move
But he's just not you

He's naughty, like a child
He's crazy and wild
It's great, he's funny too
But he's just not you

He flirts with me all the time
But he doesn't make me rhyme
He's fresh, he's new
But he's just not you

HE can't write beautiful songs
He can't make me belong
In your arms like you do
No one could ever be you.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I can smile though you hurt me
I won't cry if you desert me
I can be just your friend
There's nothing in me to mend

I don't miss you like before
I don't need you anymore
You aren't my life blood
And it feels so good

It's OK when we fight
I don't stay up at night
Wondering if it was my fault
Or if i should have called

You're not the sun
I revolve around
You're not the one
To whom I'm bound
You were everything once
But an end always comes

I don't miss you like before
I don't need you anymore
You aren't my life blood
And it feels so good

oh honey, no offense, it feels good.

Thursday, April 09, 2009


Let us marry on a beach
With white rosed garlands
Let our parents bless us
With all their hearts
Let our footprints on the sand
Never erase from memory
No matter that they were
Erased by the sea

Let us spend those first years
Like new lovers
Discovering each others'
Bodies, minds, souls
Let the passion never die
Despite the years that pass
Let our hands always hold
To comfort each other

Let our every thought, word and action
Be infused with gentleness
Let we never lie or betray
And if we ever do
Let us forgive in time
If ever there is a doubt of fading love
Let it dissolve at once
When we are in each others' arms

Let the harsh words that we speak
Be drowned by the laughter
Of our children
Let them reflect our childhood
And remind us to be carefree

Let us never be too busy
To say, "I love you"
Let our arguments be peaceful
I hope work never forces us
To neglect our family
Or to neglect our love

I wrote this one night when I couldn't get sleep. These wishes are things that i know will never really come true, little girls like to wish upon stars. I just wanted to write down my insane hopes. I don't know if it classifies as poetry, but it is the song of my heart and I hope that counts.

Thursday, March 12, 2009


Love in the movies
In the park holding hands
Hides in an invisible nook
Jumps out and ruins and plans.


A computer keyboard chatters
Father is hard at work
Other trivial, inconsequential matters
In his shadows lurk

Mother sings along to the radio
Cooks, cleans, makes house home
Silent tears ebb and flow
Like a sad, soft poem

They met under parents' watchful eyes
Barely knowing each other
Two loveless decades pass by
They have not yet grown on each other

Their two children bind them
And they suffocate
Some unknown duty confines them
To a life they hate

They sleep in two rooms
Share not a word of love
Anger and regret they speak of
Why not just end it in a courtroom?

An impossible possibility
An act unheard of
Divorce? Absurdity!
Marriage was never about love

Sunday, February 01, 2009


Are you sleepless tonight?
See the firleflies light
In the city smoke bright
The only stars of the night

Can you hear my voice
Over the hostel boys,
Over your brain's noise?
Can you feel my sorrows and joys?

Let's take a quiet walk
Our faraway hearts talk
Our lips lock
Till sleep on your door knocks

As settles the morning dew
Tonight, I am awake too
Me heart clings onto
All the wonder I found in you


I inhale
You exhale
I cry
I sigh
You smile
All the while
I understand
You just can't
I'm lost
At sea, tossed
And turning
Stomach churning
You're ashore
Locked your door
In the clouds
Laughing out loud
You don't know
I'm waiting below

You walk
You talk
Move along
Sing your songs
I wait
You're late
Your words
So kind
I'm blind
To your love
Tired of
Our flame
Like a game
Of hide and seek

I'm weak
You're strong
I'm wrong
To accuse you
I can't lose you
You stay
I know
Bigger things
Life will bring
You'd leave
I'd lie
I'd cry


when language like bubbling streams flow

when words are laid down to fit like lovers' hands

when you feel the essence of the poet from within

when swirling thoughts are caught in the net of rhythm

when images reel as you read

when pen and paper create a symphony

then, it is poetry