Wednesday, February 22, 2012

An Old, New Blog

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I'd like the company. :)

The Loss of Pride

In my worried head
I planned a gentle discussion.
I made it a point
Not to be bossy.
I know you hate that.

I said, "can you" instead of "won't you"
"Try to" instead of "I want you to".
I heard my quietness.
My pride, bleeding
On the floor.

You enjoy the power
My weakness
Gives you.
As I try to hide
Behind stubborn eyes.

I don't ask you again.
You shan't reconsider.
Breath punched out of my lungs
I'm sorry you said, "No."

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Highway Rider

Buzzed on beer.
Buttons black leather jacket.

Shedding all inhibitions.

Steadily to alcohol.

Suddenly thrown into air.

Broken bones.
Barely alive at nineteen.

Thursday, November 18, 2010


The first time we spoke
Over a song. Over a joke.
Sudden friends

The very first spark
In a bus. In the dark.
But you didn't notice

Our first week across states
Couldn't stand it. Couldn't wait.
To see you again

Your first confession
Changing course. Confusion.
Pulse escalates

First kiss
Bliss. Bliss.
Heaven in your arms

Friday, July 02, 2010


I am like dirt under your shoe

Or a children’s book you forgot you had

Like an ache that you can’t bother to heal

Like I was just someone, anyone, no one at all

Words that sound like poetry

Coat your mouth like caramel

Sweet, indulgent but really

Just a sticky mass of unhealthy sugar

It hurts again. I thought it could never be

As bad as the last time

But it’s worse and more crushing

Because I didn’t think I would let myself hurt this way

No one but myself, no friends who understand

Just a room with little corners

Where I cry until my legs fall numb

Until I turn into an irrational mess of a person

What am I to you? Just a girl you convince yourself is the one

Who your heart doesn’t allow to love enough

Subconsciously, you push me away

It hurts to feel like nothing to you

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

I wish I was

I wish I was your Princess
The girl you'd waited for
The one for whom you'd do anything
If she came knocking on your door

I wish nothing else mattered
When you looked in my eyes
And everything else came second
When you had me as the prize

I wish every time I cried
You'd swear to heal my pain
And as long as life was in you
Never let me cry again

But I am not your Princess
I'm not your perfect bride
Even if you swear otherwise
This truth I know, inside

Tuesday, June 01, 2010


Big shoulders strong enough
To protect
From everything
Speeding car, leering men, broken heart

Eyes that twinkle more often
Than they cloud
With anger or fear
Light brown pools of hidden emotion

Never perfect, yet seeming just so
Yet more than lazy enough to be human

Downs a pint of whiskey (only the best)
A gentleman
Loose, but never a drunken swagger

The smoothest driver, shifting gears
With ease
That cannot be taught, only admired

The kite flyer, the ocean swimmer
And carefree
The one who taught me to ride a wave

Brimming with stories and terrible jokes
A father
A friend
Switching between roles seamlessly

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Hidden Child

Suitcase, black stilettos, crisp

Perfect posture stands

Holding an ice cream cone

Saturday, March 20, 2010


You took my soul, loved it with all of you
But I wasn't good enough to fight for
You took my soul, squeezed the life out of it
Gently, without you or I knowing

You left your fingerprints to haunt me
When I am sleeping, when I am lonely
You left your sweet tasting fingerprints
To remind me it will never be the same

I cannot forgive you for stealing my faith
Sixteen was too young to find a soul mate
I cannot forgive you for stealing the part of me
That could love without fear of being trampled

You swirl, swirl, swirl like the residue in a teacup
That is meant only to be thrown away
I swirl, swirl, swirl in my own confusion
In limbo between the past and present

Look at me now, a shell, an amputee
How will I find someone who will accept this
Look at me now if you can stand to see it
I wait for someone to bring me back to life

If I could go back, I would pry
Out of your hands my most fragile parts
If I could go back, I would take my soul
And save it for someone better than you

Summer Day

Heat sweating.
You laugh.
We tickle.
You say little jokes
Small little jokes.
We find shade
Only to laugh more.
Only to touch
Gently. Pretend
It didn't happen.
Eyes dance
Mine laugh
With intensity.
Sudden joy
That you are here
Not listening
Looking the other way.
I pull you towards me
Pushing letting go
Then further.
It's a game.
The laughter sinks in
Like the sunlight
In the city's heat.
I told you secrets
Little dark spiders
That web in my brain.
You understand.
Strangers no more
I have found you.
That makes day
Lighter fuller
With laughter

Monday, March 08, 2010


It began with a playful fight on a lawn
Little shoves and tugs from which were born
Something, a spark, a tiny flicker
A trickling stream that was bound to get thicker

Tickles slowly replaced the pinches
And distances between us reduced to inches
That night, easily, naturally, without a pause
I found my fingers tangled in yours

I know I should have, could have stopped
But sparks ignite with a mere drop
Of fuel; A touch, a glance a smile suffices
The fire, it grows like a beast and rises

One minute, a glass of beer in hand
The next, everything we'd planned
Melted down to nothing and instead
We fell over each other on our rooftop bed

We laughed and rolled and kissed all night
And all that was wrong, seemed so right
I don't know where to go from here
So for just a minute more, stay with me here

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Small Poems

Tiny things, little tiny poems that happen when I can't sleep. <3

When you appeared

Like a baby in a china shop

You toddled over to me

I knew, at that moment

You were going to stay awhile

Suddenly, without warning

Without wanting it to

Love flooded me, beautifully

I breathed again.

Your curls

Brown, orange, maybe even red

Naughty, unruly, soft

They epitomize you

They flirt with my memories of you

Cultural Differences

Language, hometown, habits, tastes

Where did we find the connection?

It’s invisible, but strong enough.

Little Things

A laugh. A girl’s name that annoys me.

Your eyes. Your cheekiness.

Your midnight kisses.

The nine-month-time-of-my-life


Airplane tickets divide us

Time not enough, feet too slow

If only.


As if you mean them with all your heart

You make promises, so many

They are broken like fragile pots

I still would bet my life that you’ll keep them


Eyes closed, eyes open

Either way, you appear

On my heart, mind and soul

You leave your gentle footprints


Some nights I wait for you, hours and hours

You never come

Some nights I dream with eyes open

Of our happiness


Don’t leave me just yet, there’s more

Don’t give up already, we have a chance

Don’t change your mind, it’s not over

I’m terrified you’ll forget about me


I want to get out before you hurt me again

But your eyes are honest

Your kisses soothing

I give myself another chance with you


when language like bubbling streams flow

when words are laid down to fit like lovers' hands

when you feel the essence of the poet from within

when swirling thoughts are caught in the net of rhythm

when images reel as you read

when pen and paper create a symphony

then, it is poetry

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