The Day You Left

A hot, blistering day begins

With a flustered morning

Waiting for you, pining, aching

Your call, a whiff of your voice

And I race to the door

And wait and wait and wait

Until your curly hair enters

My field of vision. Escalator

Ascending. Blue shirt. Shoulders.

You walk the wrong way

And I run, run, run...

Embrace. Relief. Peace.

I cling onto you for life

With time ticking frantically

Every minute bursts

With the pang of your departure

Every time you look at me

Mixed with the happiness you bring

Come waves and waves of sadness

And we walk. Hot, sweaty, hand in hand

The sun can't burn away

The hurt I feel looking at you

My stomach churns with dread

For when you'll say goodbye

My blue-shirt-curly-haired handsome

You stand by the gate with me

Wanting to stay and needing to leave

I curse the forces that pull you from me

I hold back the rain

Choking my eyes, burning

And try to smile. Try to let you go.

I can't. A hug. Another. Another.

Can't erase the heaviness I feel

So, as always, I run from my sadness

I walk away from you, faster

Hoping you don't see me and cry

Sitting in a bus stop

Head in my hands, trying

To numb out the hurt

You see me. You mouth something

I don't understand

I am drawn to you

Like a magnet

I follow the blue shirt in the rickshaw

I follow you like a lost puppy

I run, run, run...

Hoping, irrationally, that you will stop

And come back to me

Instead you accelerate

Around a bend, I lose sight

Of the blue shirt. I'm blind

With hot, lava-like tears

Sweating panting running

Trying to catch a glimpse

A flash, a touch of blue

In the crowded street ahead

Nothing but my ragged breath

Alien unattractive strangers

And thoughts of kisses, laughs, tentative smiles

Of a tiny silver ring on a big finger

Of your quick entry into my world

And your even swifter departure

The tears rain on ceaselessly

I walk and walk and walk and walk

To nowhere; lost without you

No polestars, no blue shirts

For direction

I still cannot fathom the pain

This goodbye brings

Bittersweet

As strongly as the heart yearns

For home, good company, familiarity

So the heart embraces the new

And welcome winds of change

As I ache for the cool touch

Of my mother's weathered fingers

Her clatter in the kitchen

Her halo of protection and comfort

So I stand wide-eyed, excited

For me new-found freedom

Bearing new responsibilities

With a smile and strong stance

As furiously as I cling to

The part of me i left behind

So I let this new person

Find her soul

Missing Ma

You burst with beautiful energy

You laugh and you become a child

I ache for that laugh, its warmth

It reminds me how similar we are

Your fingers worn soft

Telling your motherly tales

You read me, meticulously

Every smile, every movement

To you I am transparent

My lies fall to pieces before you

My tears, hidden within bathroom walls

Some you caused, and some others

From when I was a seed inside you

You could feel my heart beat

Even today, you sense every single

One of my sorrows

I get so angry at you sometimes

And you at me, we fight

But when I lie down to sleep

All I can think of is that I let you down

Tonight, in this cold hostel room

I miss you, your touch, your hug

Your words that curl around me

Like a well-worn sweater

I regret sleeping late into the morning

Instead of being around you

I take you for granted

And now I hate myself for it

I would have said all this to you

Cuddled up next to you

Over and over how much I love you

But we never do that. We argue. We hug.

I am falling to pieces without you here

Tonight I just want your presence

I look at your photograph

It isn’t enough. I miss you.

He's just not you

He's so gorgeous
His lines outrageous
He makes the first move
But he's just not you

He's naughty, like a child
He's crazy and wild
It's great, he's funny too
But he's just not you

He flirts with me all the time
But he doesn't make me rhyme
He's fresh, he's new
But he's just not you

HE can't write beautiful songs
He can't make me belong
In your arms like you do
No one could ever be you.

I can smile though you hurt me
I won't cry if you desert me
I can be just your friend
There's nothing in me to mend

I don't miss you like before
I don't need you anymore
You aren't my life blood
And it feels so good

It's OK when we fight
I don't stay up at night
Wondering if it was my fault
Or if i should have called

You're not the sun
I revolve around
You're not the one
To whom I'm bound
You were everything once
But an end always comes

I don't miss you like before
I don't need you anymore
You aren't my life blood
And it feels so good

oh honey, no offense, it feels good.

Wishes

Let us marry on a beach

With white rosed garlands
Let our parents bless us
With all their hearts
Let our footprints on the sand
Never erase from memory
No matter that they were
Erased by the sea

Let us spend those first years
Like new lovers
Discovering each others'
Bodies, minds, souls
Let the passion never die
Despite the years that pass
Let our hands always hold
To comfort each other

Let our every thought, word and action
Be infused with gentleness
Let we never lie or betray
And if we ever do
Let us forgive in time
If ever there is a doubt of fading love
Let it dissolve at once
When we are in each others' arms

Let the harsh words that we speak
Be drowned by the laughter
Of our children
Let them reflect our childhood
And remind us to be carefree

Let us never be too busy
To say, "I love you"
Let our arguments be peaceful
I hope work never forces us
To neglect our family
Or to neglect our love






I wrote this one night when I couldn't get sleep. These wishes are things that i know will never really come true, little girls like to wish upon stars. I just wanted to write down my insane hopes. I don't know if it classifies as poetry, but it is the song of my heart and I hope that counts.

Loveless

Love in the movies

In the park holding hands
Hides in an invisible nook
Jumps out and ruins and plans.

Loveless:

A computer keyboard chatters
Father is hard at work
Other trivial, inconsequential matters
In his shadows lurk

Mother sings along to the radio
Cooks, cleans, makes house home
Silent tears ebb and flow
Like a sad, soft poem

They met under parents' watchful eyes
Barely knowing each other
Two loveless decades pass by
They have not yet grown on each other

Their two children bind them
And they suffocate
Some unknown duty confines them
To a life they hate

They sleep in two rooms
Share not a word of love
Anger and regret they speak of
Why not just end it in a courtroom?

An impossible possibility
An act unheard of
Divorce? Absurdity!
Marriage was never about love

Lullaby

Are you sleepless tonight?
See the firleflies light
In the city smoke bright
The only stars of the night

Can you hear my voice
Over the hostel boys,
Over your brain's noise?
Can you feel my sorrows and joys?

Let's take a quiet walk
Our faraway hearts talk
Our lips lock
Till sleep on your door knocks

As settles the morning dew
Tonight, I am awake too
Me heart clings onto
All the wonder I found in you

Opposite

I inhale
You exhale
I cry
I sigh
You smile
All the while
I understand
You just can't
I'm lost
At sea, tossed
And turning
Stomach churning
You're ashore
Locked your door
In the clouds
Laughing out loud
You don't know
I'm waiting below

You walk
You talk
Move along
Sing your songs
I wait
You're late
Your words
Absurd
So kind
I'm blind
To your love
Tired of
Fighting
Lighting
Our flame
Like a game
Of hide and seek

I'm weak
You're strong
I'm wrong
To accuse you
I can't lose you
You stay
Today
Tomorrow
I know
Bigger things
Life will bring
You'd leave
Bereaved
I'd lie
I'd cry

Family

This is a very personal poem, something I wrote when I was bursting with tears. I fear that the emotion I felt at the time cannot be aptly portrayed through my words, but I hope I can share a tiny sliver.

You say we are not family

But do you mean it?

Can you spend a day not worrying

If your children are safe?

The home we made

Seems like a prison to you

But it is my solace

The place where I find family

But you say we are not your family

Who am I to you, Mamma?

Am I simply some child?

Am I a burden in your arms?

Are you forced to love me

Because we are bound by blood?

I love you despite your words

I beg you, I kneel, I cry

For you to feel in your heart

My ever flowing love

But I am not your family

Then how can you feel the peace 

That i feel when I come home

To have three people I can readily

Give my life for

That I can always lean on

That are a part of my being

Yet, you know not this family

And without you

We are simply people

Waiting for the missing beat

That you took away

Each in our own way 

Love you unconditionally

Can you not love us? 

There's Something About You

This isn't serious poetry; i was just having some fun :)

Something about you makes me smile
Just thinking of our times together
And when I start, I can't seem to stop
Proof of how much we love each other

Something about you melts my heart
I feel a longing to cuddle in your hug
I want to hold your face in my hands
Sit on a couch with you and a coffee mug

Something about you tickles my ribs
I roll around in a giggly fit
You cheered me up with all that humour
My dark days with laughter you lit

Something about you tears me up
Because our time is running out
Is it my fear that forever can never happen?
Yet in the depth of our love, I know no doubt

Something about you turns me on
Well, everything about you does
From your voice to your wrists to your yummy kiss
Just a bed, some chocolate and us!

Sweet Surrender...again

I began a chapter of my life with Sweet Surrender, and now I close it.

What's this thing I've never felt
I find so hard to define?
With these feelings I've never dealt
Come near me, I'll be fine

For so long life revolved
Now you, the center shifts
And all at once, life dissolves
The wings of love now lift

I walk myself down that wondrous road
Every footstep a precious memory
Every bloom a kiss, on the path we strode
Now simply a silent reverie

Those gentle words you whispered
Still float in the tunnels of my mind
And I, breathless enraptured
Know that you, darling, are one of a kind

Like midnight without a star
Like a rose without its hue
Like day break without a sunrise afar
Life loses its magic without you

Time passes like the blink of an eye
Where the years went, I sigh in wonder
But love, you taught me how to fly
I'm glad to you, I surrendered

Time of My LIfe

I keep writing about all we did
Held hands, spoke with our eyes
And I forget to write down
How you make me feel
Or rather, avoid the act
For my mind would search so deep
To find apt words
These mortal feelings cannot be described
By a million immortal words
So ephemeral
Drifting between the shadows
Of reality and magic
Feelings of unencompassible love
Of sudden bursts of fury
That die with a thought of you
Of stretched hours of loneliness
Surrounded by people
Yet in my own dark corner
Of searing fits of pain
The separation, the distance, the silence
Rings like an ominous bell

Letting Go

Face to face, eye to eye
You're all I ever wanted
I turn away with a sigh
I'm forced to let you go

Hand in hand, it's still a lie
I want an impossible future
I smile, inside I cry
For everything I'm losing

Illusions everywhere around
Who knows right from wrong?
We speak without a sound
Everything and nothing makes sense

We are simply two freinds
We try to convince ourselves
But in this profound silence
Our Love betrays us

Shower Tears

When you leave, I climb into the shower
Sorrow, pain like skyscrapers tower
I sing to clear my rain clouded mind
In this cubicle I stand confined
And the tears rain invisible
My knees bend, unstable
I fall, all my pride disappears
And in its place fills cold fear
The water rinses my face
My tears don't leave a trace
But it cannot rinse my soul
Of all the hurt it holds

Cancer

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A wife, one day she awoke
To see her husband sleeping
She kissed him good morning
Seeing not the terror creeping

The mother sat with her family
Her children babbling away
She smiled unnasuming
That hell would break loose today

She felt some fatigue, but let it pass
"It's nothing to worry about"
Till all day did her body ache
And she felt a twinge of doubt

She waited in the asylum-white room
The odour of medicine in the air
With a number for a name, she walked
Head on into the nightmare

In a daze like a wooden puppet
She let them probe and prick
The man in white, he shook his head
"Ma'am I think you're very sick"

She did not understand him
"How sick am I?" asked she
He scribbled in a pad and said
"I'll send you to Oncology"

Easy Trust

Why stranger do you listen
To my angst and sorrow
How does your act
Sponge away my pain

You find my fingers
Your heart beats
With my ever aching heart
You taste my tears

Stranger, I do not know
Where you head
Yet, I lay bare all
The shadows of my past

You speak not in reply
But the fever ebbs away
Like a line of mercury
In a thermometer

These moments you hear
My quivering voice, I try
To hide myself and my tears
But you set them free

Stay stranger, I shall unveil
Your mysteries
Let us ease our loneliness
Let me discover your shadows

Love

The moonlight's glitter on the ocean
Couldn't be as beautiful as love

A flower in springtime bloom
Couldn't be as joyful as love

A snowflake on a tree branch
Couldn't be as delicate as love

The fiery hot glare of the sun
Couldn't be as passionate as love

A star studded midnight
Couldn't be as magical as love

A footprint upon a golden coast
Couldn't be as ephemeral as love

The blood flowing through every vein
Couldn't be as life-giving as love

The forest sawed down that regenerates
Couldn't be as forgiving as love

A shower of rain in the desert
Couldn't be as soothing as love

A fantastic insect with glittering wings
Couldn't be as alluring as love

The wind that carries a kite
Couldn't be as uplifting as love

And yet, a plague across the nations
Couldn't be as devastating as love

I Will Miss...

Your gorgeous eyes so brown
Your comfort when I'm feeling down
Your touch that turns me on
That caresses long after you're gone
Your kiss that tastes so sweet
The drum of your heart beat
Your body's perfect contours
Your shoulders and their curvature
Your laugh that bursts from inside
The thought of being your future bride
The stolen kisses in the guitar room
The more-than-just-kisses in your bedroom
Your jokes that tickle my bones
Your voice whispering in gentle tones
Your hands as soft as butter
The words of love you utter
Your cute, mixed up accent
The fifteen minute breaks we spent
How you always lend a listening ear
As my words pour out, so do my fears
The random songs you sing
The infinite joy you bring
How you love the things I write
How your hug makes things alright
The ink marks on your fingers
The scent of you that lingers
Your body so perfectly made
Your faith in God that never fades
Your compliments I always refuse
The things you own in orange hues

The list goes on and shall never end
For try as I might I can't pretend
My insides clench, my knees grow weak
My throat is dry, I cannot speak
I want to cry, "baby please stay"
But I know you have to go away
So every night in my mind's abyss
I find something new that I will miss

Today

Today I thought you wouldn't show
But you came an hour late
I thought I would only get to say hello
But we began to communicate
I thought I could keep my hands controlled
But they reached for yours eagerly
I thought i couldn't get close today
But you came closer to me
I thought you wouldn't see me dance
But you caught me moving my hips
I thought I could stop wanting you
But inches apart were our lips
Today my hands and feet were hurting
But your touch went over the bruise
I felt so tried I could have dropped
But your voice through the room diffused
Today, I thought would be so terrible
But your fingers ran down my arm
I thought today would be like any other
But your presence itself is a charm